For our #WeAreWeCan campaign, we sat down with Meg Van Dran LeBare, age 31, to hear her story. Meg has wanted to be a mother since she was a little girl, but has struggled with miscarriage. As she puts it, she's still waiting on her rainbow baby. Below, watch her emotional video and read our conversation with Meg to hear more of her story and how she's found strength and support to move forward.
COULD YOU SHARE YOUR STORY WITH US AND TELL US ABOUT SOME OF YOUR STRUGGLES AS A WOMAN?
I have always wanted to be a mom. Since I held my first baby, I just knew that’s what I wanted to do. When my husband and I got married, we knew we’d be parents and that we wanted to be parents. We did the safe and responsible thing and waited to start trying. Waited for the right jobs, to have the right incomes, to have some marriage under our belts. We started trying to have a baby in March of 2019. We got pregnant immediately, but ended up losing that baby when the pregnancy ended a month later. What I didn’t know at the time was that I wasn’t guaranteed another immediate pregnancy. The waiting when I knew I had been able to be pregnant nearly killed me. It’s been isolating. I feel like a woman caught in limbo. I feel like a mom—I consider that little embryo my baby. When it comes to physically being a mom, I don’t fit in our societal constructs of motherhood. I’ve seen moms get their rainbow babies, and I haven’t gotten mine. I feel stuck in the space of having experienced pregnancy and wondering if it will be the only time I’ll experience pregnancy. I’m a mom without a baby, and it’s hard to feel like a mom. No one really talks about the mom with no kids on earth.
HOW HAVE YOU FOUND STRENGTH AND SUPPORT THROUGH YOUR EXPERIENCE?
Social media has been a game-changer. I’ve been able to connect with other women who feel the way I do from all over the world. It has helped me realize that I am not truly alone. I actually found a mentor via Instagram. I reached out in desperation to a stranger, and she has helped me so much as I journey through my struggle.
DID YOU FIND SUPPORT OR ADVICE FROM OTHER WOMEN?
WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU OFFER OTHER MOMS WHO MAY BE IN A SIMILAR SITUATION?
YOU. ARE. A. MOM. Whether your babe is on earth or has left it, you’re a mom. Not only that, but you did your absolute best to love your babe when you had them. There was no better woman to love your babe than you. It’s not your fault that they’re not here. Wherever your babe is, they still love you and you loved them well.