Common Issues Faced By New Parents And How To Overcome Them
The birth of a child is special. You have carried that life and had it grow within you, and it has now blossomed out into the world. And while there is no better feeling than becoming a new parent, the challenges can be quite great too. The shift to parenthood is one of life's most significant reorganizations, affecting everyone's thoughts, behaviors, endocrine systems, relationships, identities, and more. Your relationship with your significant other can become strained without assistance, and sadness or "depleted mother syndrome" might set in.
Here are a few common issues new parents face, and some strategies to help overcome them:
Lack of Sleep
This is a no-brainer. Parenthood comes with sleep deprivation; this is in large part due to sleep disruptions in order to feed the baby. This can lead to stress and anxiety, and affect parents during daytime as well. There is also the possibility of falling asleep while feeding the baby, so caution must be taken. One suggestion is to feed the baby in an adult bed, in case you fall asleep. Furthermore, new mothers and newborns should sleep near one another but in separate beds, according to several health professionals and professional organizations. Thus, parents can safely attend to their baby's demands while also getting the rest they need to adequately care for their infant by sharing a room.
A lack of sleep could lead to postpartum depression, which you want to avoid at all costs. Should this occur, you want to talk to your healthcare provider. Treatment includes getting as much rest as possible, making the effort to socialize, and communicate with others frequently.
Some good practices include napping when your baby naps, so you rest together. A baby’s sleep cycle is very short, between one to three hours. So you must take advantage of the opportunities to rest. Another good practice is being comfortable saying no. People will want to see you and the newborn, but it is best to hold off on too many visitations until you and the baby establish a routine. An exception to this is if you need help with anything. Do not be afraid to ask, this is when friends and family can truly shine. And finally, establish a good sleeping environment for yourself and the baby. A cool temperature (between 68 and 72 degrees), in a room that is both quiet and dark.
No Time for You or Your Partner
When both new parents are focused on the baby, it's tough to maintain the passion and friendship that bonds you as a couple. The kind of exchange that used to be effortless now necessitates effort. And it is of vital importance that the effort is made. Remember, pressure makes diamonds. Finding ways to get closer after birth is the secret to a great marriage. In order to do this, you must be aware of what is going on in your partner's life, and vice versa. Stress is bound to build after childbirth, and research shows that daily stress-reducing conversations allows parents to better ward off external pressures and stay more emotionally connected.
Furthermore, research shows that couples who develop their friendships with one another have a higher level of marital satisfaction. Besides conversation, it’s important to make an effort to spend time together, be honest with one another (without disparaging one another), make memories, and generally make each other feel as though you are still a priority. Making an effort to be mindful of the mundane details of your partner's life demonstrates that you care about each other despite the baby's constant demands.
Clashing Parenting Styles
It's doubtful that you and your partner will agree on everything. You must communicate, compromise, and negotiate. While this advice is always relevant, it is exacerbated now that you have a baby. Perhaps you'll agree to try your husband's proposal of three days of planned meals; if it doesn't work, he'll agree to go back to your informal manner, for example.
Communication is key. Couples who communicate their parenting preferences openly are more likely to avoid conflict. Don't allow disagreements to linger; resolve them before they turn into anger and resentment. Remember that in the grand scheme of things, many little disagreements are just that, little. Don’t allow them to grow, work it out. It will lead to a higher level of happiness for not only you and your spouse, but for your baby as well.
If you and your partner are unable to reach an agreement and are unhappy, seek professional help or the advice of a friend whose parenting you both appreciate. A competent instructor's parenting course, or even a book that you both agree on, could help you discover mutual understanding. Remember what you love about one another, and put in the work to create that future you both want. Hopes and dreams are not to be underestimated, and surely those were prominent before the birth. Think back to those moments, and use them to take positive action.
Constant Worrying
Parents all over the world can attest to the reality that being a parent is both exciting and terrifying—a mix of excitement and joy on one side and frustration and anxiety on the other. Everything you thought you understood about parenting is thrown out the window in a matter of days after the birth, and you're left with endless questions:
Why can't you calm your wailing baby? Why is he or she not latching on? When are they going to learn to roll over? Is it normal for baby's poop to be green? Even second-time parents can get unduly anxious about their baby's growth and development.
Don't be concerned! You, too, can master the art of parenting. Trust yourself and your partner. You don’t need to overanalyze every little thing. Remember, there are billions of people on the planet whose parents had to overcome all kinds of obstacles. In the end, you will figure it out. Keep learning, asking for advice, and yes, even trial and error will go a long way. The only thing worrying will do is hurt you by adding undue stress to your life, which won’t make raising the baby any easier. Instead, remember to stay in the moment, and take things one step at a time. Staying light-hearted about the process will inevitably go a long way, for not only your baby, but for you and your partner as well.
Too Much to Do
A new baby means a whole new to-do list for both mom and dad. There are many new duties and responsibilities. Tensions over labor division can lead to relationship discontent, particularly among women who believe their partners aren't doing their fair share. When one parent is on leave, two-career couples who are used to sharing domestic responsibilities typically have conflicting expectations.
It is of the utmost importance that parenting roles are discussed before the arrival of the baby. Parents who are most likely to have an easier time after having a baby learn effective conflict management skills to discuss everything from who changes the dirty diapers to who makes job compromises. Couples must attempt to "complain without blaming" and avoid escalating conflicts. That means you'll be able to ask for more help without hurling a string of complaints about untreated stains and muddled dishes.
Moms who embrace dads' more lighthearted parenting style and view it as a valuable contribution are more likely to have happy marriages. Working as a team doesn't mean letting dad do nothing; it means arranging a division of labor that works for both of you, with both parents taking the lead. Sort out roles, responsibilities, and expectations, and don't keep track of who does what all the time. Remember that you are a team, and sometimes in a team one player carries a bit more of the load, and other times the other does the same. As long as you are on the same page, things will even out and the entire experience will be more joyful.
The Bottom Line
Being a parent is the most challenging job in the world. However, challenges were meant to be overcome. There are many ways to deal with various issues you face after giving birth, which will lead to happy marriages, peaceful sleep, and a calm baby. Our hope is that this article was able to elucidate some ways that will help you overcome obstacles and make it work. In the end, the most important thing is to have faith in your and your partner’s ability to raise your beautiful child together. With faith and determination, everything else will work itself out.